Day Eight

I've always found it fascinating, especially when I'm working retail, to observe how I treat people, kind of one step removed.  99% of the people who come in are strangers, we have no history, no connection other than that they are thirsty and tired and I serve caffeinated beverages.  But there are people I give free drinks to and other people that I want to leap across the counter and scratch their eyes out as soon as they enter the store.  Keep in mind that I don't know them.  My reaction is a vibrational one, not a rational one.

   I know who I can play with and who is going to make me re-make their drink three times for no reason other than that they are feeling pissy and need someone to take it out on.  For example today it was me and one other guy working all afternoon and we were SLAMMED, $1500 in 4 hours, if you figure that the average beverage costs $3.00 we served approximately 500 people, or 2 people every minute for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT.  We went a little bit nuts and finally just started laughing to save our sanity.  One woman ordered a decaf, iced, venti, soy, light ice, 2 pump mocha.  No problem, I made it and handed it off to her at which point she said, "Wrong, it was a decaf, iced, four pump vanilla soy latte."  It SO WASN'T.  I mean we can't make up stuff like her original drink order.  The two don't even sound the same, but I made her second order.  At which point she asked, "Do I have to come back there and make it myself?  I wanted a 3 pump classic soy green tea latte."  Liar, liar pants on fire, you did not.  So, I remade her drink a third time, keep in mind I have 20 other drinks for 20 other people who are waiting in line and are now all glaring at me.  Then she demands a free drink coupon thingy because and I quote, "Since you're too stupid to even work here."  In response I fluttered my eyelashes over my baby blues and grinned, replying, "You do say the sweetest things." and moved on.  She picked up the cup and held it to the light before saying, "Well this is the strangest looking mocha I've ever seen" and tossed the green tea latte into the garbage can before cutting in at the front of the line and demanding that my co-worker give her a refund.  

This is when we began to laugh and I mean laugh hysterically, unable to make eye contact with one another because we'd start laughing again.  It was laugh or start throwing things to make all the cranky people go away.

Not too long ago I would have spent days wondering how I had attracted her into my experience but as the years go by I've come to realize that some people are just assholes and there's nothing you can do about it.  Why did she wander across my path today?  I was jonesing for a cigarette, my legs were starting to kill me, I was day dreaming about all of the ways I could kill our bossman for putting us in that situation without a third person and my vibe dipped low enough that she got sucked into the vortex.  Meh.  It happens.  After we got over our first bout of hysterical laughter the next customer dropped a $20 into the tip box.  That happens too.

I don't really know what this post is about other than it is fascinating who walks through the door.  There are two people I work with who call every crazy person in a 400 mile radius into our store.  Everytime I'm scheduled to work with them I know it's going to be an insane night.  1 person I occassionally get to work with clears out the store so that we're dead all night long, every single time I work with them.  It's glorious.  And when I work with the other two we have normal people, coming in at a comfortable rate and have an easy, breezy night.  When I take over and blast the place with my vibe, we get lots and lots of talkers.  People who just make themselves comfortable and want to chat all night long and never leave.