It's funny how you don't realize you're in a loop until you get out of it. I realized today that I have been smooshing myself in order to fit in at work. I hate and despise smooshing myself and vowed not to do that years and years ago, but yet, I did it again, not consciously but I still did it.
See, I'm good at what I do, that's not bragging it's just a fact. If I'm going to do something, spend a significant part of my life partaking in activity, then I dedicate myself to do it and strive for mastery. It's just logical. What I realized today is that I had smooshed myself in order to raise another up, actually a group of others and shockingly, yet again, I realized that it simply doesn't work that way. So, I'm an idiot. It wasn't until I found myself playing with customers and being stupid, like I do, that I hadn't been being stupid with customers for months. I like being stupid with customers, it makes the day go faster and the tip jar fill up. I raise people up by bringing them joy, making them laugh, being stupid basically, not by smooshing myself down in order to make them look better in comparison. All that does is make me feel all cramped up and cranky. ARG! I know this! I learned this A Long, LONG time ago! ARG!
So, today's true wealth is found in being myself in all of my glory and if they can't take it.......NOT my problem. I'm going to have that tattooed on my inner right arm so that I have to read it fifty thousand times a day. Oh and I got a massive organic, free range, grass fed lamb roast for half off. BONUS Wealth! :-)!!!
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